Having Standards - An Excuse for Scarcity?
20 January 2007[Words: 516, Reading Time: 2-3mins]
People come up with brilliant excuses as to why they’re not succeeding in life, why they don’t have the things they want.
An interesting one I’ve noted is that of “Having Standards”.
I’m all for having standards, I think knowing precisely what you want, what you won’t refuse to compromise and what you’d like but you’ll let slide if everything else is in order is a fantastic thing. It’s a huge part of self respect.
But having standards can be an excuse - you don’t want to associate with someone because you’ve standards. You won’t take a job because you’ve standards. You won’t go out with someone because you’ve standards.
Things that are rare have a value simply because they’re rare, scarcity = value. If everything met your standards they wouldn’t be very valuable. Or at the very least that would be the perception. You could feel like you don’t hold very high standards since if everyone has it, it’s obviously not difficult to come across and not a sign of a strong character.
You’ve heard the expression, “It’s hard to find something/someone who meets my standards.” This is an intention that you’re sending out that will make the things and people scarce in your life.
Wouldn’t it be better if you had an abundance of the things, experiences, people and possibilities that met your standards?
Think about it: What if instead of the dream job you wanted being one in a million there were literally hundreds of jobs and you had a choice of which one you wanted? Instead of their only being one person you could trust and be intimate friends with you had dozens to share in every experience? Instead of their only being one love partner for you you had the option of thousands?
Which way of looking at things would make you feel happier and more confident. If you’re living in scarcity you’re going to be anxious because there is so much riding on each outcome since you never know when the next opportunity will come along. You’re overly attached to an outcome and it’s not healthy.
So what to do? Should you give up your standards completely? Not at all.You should get very clear on what you want and what’s important to you. That way, when you meet new people and opportunities, you can look for those qualities in people. Note that I said look for those qualities, don’t notice in which ways they’re lacking the things you want. This simple shift in thinking helps you notice the quantity of quality you have in your life, and whatever you dwell upon grows.
Of course, cut out all those unhelpful expressions such as “It’s so hard to get good help these days” and “There’s nobody who really understands me.” Instead actively affirm that they are an abundance of people in your life with the qualities you want and admire.
Having standards is a defining characteristic of your self respect and confidence, just make sure you have an abundance of those standards in your life.
Related Post: Abundance, Scarcity, Winning and Confidence
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