Is it possible to be perfectly confident? (Stages of Belief and Assurance)
19 December 2006[Words: 869, Reading Time: 3-4 minutes]
The answer really depends on what you think is possible for you. There are stages of what you believe is possible for you.
Say you started into a task that you imagined would be really easy and effortless, but you found out is was a lot tougher than you figured! You might have to reasses your original goals and timeline. You might also have to see where you’re out of alignment, now that you’ve gotten some feedback from your first endeavour (whether it’s a first date, approaching a stranger and starting a conversation, working on your body language, whatever!)
Your belief (mental fortitude), however, acts as a reserve that you can tap into to help you through when you can’t see your goal and the task seems overwhelming. This is so under utilised it’s unreal! Without belief, you’ll never even consider reassessing your goals or examining to find out where you’re out of alignment, you’ll just give up.
So however confident (or happy, or rich, or successful) you want to be you need to go through some stages to see where you’re at. If you’re completely broke, hundreds of thousands in debt, and have no career prospects believing that in the next week you’ll be a millionaire might be too much of a stretch.
By the same token, if the thought of talking to a friend or family member scares the living daylights out of you, believing you could be the most charismatic party host in the whole wide world in the next week mightn’t be possible.
If something is too unbelievable (and I feel I should stress it’s too unbelievable for you) then you’ll just flat out reject it, even if it is your hearts ultimate dream. Unfortunately, it’s your body and mind trying to protect you, but it doesn’t always work the way we want it to.
So how do we overcome this internal resistance so we can have the confidence we want in social situations and be the perfectly confident person? The first step is to belief that it is possible for someone to develop their self confidence to the point where you want it to be. That it is possible for someone to have the confidence to successfully do what you want to be able to do.
Notice how I said “someone†here. If you start to think of all the ways that someone could be confident, and use confidence to enrich their own lives, you’ll begin to see and believe that it is possible.
Once you recognise that it is possible for someone to develop their confidence (and charisma, social skills, influence) the next step is to believe it is possible for you. Being totally confident is no longer something you wish would happen, but something that definitely could happen. You mightn’t be able to see how, or know what to do. You might think it will take an awful lot of work, but you definitely believe that you could become the type of confident person you want to be.
Believing you can achieve the confidence you desire helps you to start working on it. Even if you don’t know what you’re doing, you have faith that you’ll become more confident. An interesting point is that by believing you can become more confident you’ve already become more confident by increasing your self belief.
Eventually, even by the simple act of picturing and clarifying what confidence means to you, being confident stops being a possibility and becomes an inevitability. You will become the perfectly confident person you’ve always aspired. It really is only a question of when.
Now when might be in a while. If you see yourself being confident in some distant future well then being confident will stay something that will happen in the distant future and can’t happen soon. Despite you not knowing exactly when you’ll reach your destination, you know you will and you’ve faith to keep going even at the times when it seems so far off.
By keeping the image and feeling of being the confident person you want to be, your goal will not only be inevitable it will become imminent. You can just feel, just know, deep inside that you are on the verge of the confidence you desire and the goals you want to achieve.
Being December, this illustration should help. When you’re a kid and Santa is on his way, you know the day is coming and you feel giddy thinking about it. Christmas morning is inevitable. Remember the almost unbearable and uncontrollable excitement you felt on the last day or two before Christmas? It was right on top of you and you could really vividly imagine enjoying your present. When you have that feeling about anything you desire it really is so close that it will happen, real soon. Just watch out for it and take the opportunity when it comes!Â
In summary, the stages of belief and assurance:
- It’s possible
- It’s possible for you
- You belief you can achieve it
- You know you’ll get it, just a matter of when
- When becomes closer, feels inevitable and imminent
- Sit back and enjoy your new found confidence!
One Response to “Is it possible to be perfectly confident? (Stages of Belief and Assurance)”
January 8th, 2007 at 12:34 am
Awesome!